Dreams and Goals

The dreaded and exciting day 1. Day one is the day you start anew and own up to the damage you done between challenges. 
My first Arbonne's 30 days to healthy living I cheated more than I care to admit. My poppy (my term for step dad) was diagnosed with cancer last year with ups and downs on his journey to health. But, dealing with the mortality of a parental unit I found comfort in my old friend junk food. It started as 1 cheat this week isn't that bad.  Then, it became once a day. Then, cleanse what cleanse? Not that I am blaming my lack of self control on my parents.
It all comes back to the why. Why am I doing this? The main reason why is my little one. I have a daughter who is a little over a year and a half. I remember being the thicker girl in class.  I was teased and taunted. My mom would say I just want you healthy.  My dad would say you're growing so fast I can't keep up.  When I was getting married I went wedding dress shopping once.  As the dress consultant tried to find something in my size, my mother in-law told her how she was 99lbs when she got married and had trouble finding a dress too, but for opposite reasons. We got home,  she told her husband  how fun  it was and I bawled in my husband's arms. I never want my kid to go through this.  I found when I eat clean so does she.  When I eat crap,  she also eats fried ice cream, candy and chips.
My hope in doing a year of clean eating: wear a bikini  on vacation and not look horrible,  conquer my sugar addition and crave healthier food.
I just finished day one. I drank so much water. I do have late night munchies (we are going to try and ignore that). I did my measurement: 204 and my goal is at the end of the week  to be 200. Wish me luck!